you burn the bridge to make a path

a case for being selfish (in a good way)

Credit: Flight of the Swan, 1992.

Basking in the warmth of an intentional fire isn’t always without guilt, but isn’t it nice to think so?

I turn 25 next month and I can already feel my prefrontal cortex replacing periods with question marks. I am more curious today than I was yesterday but usually in a way that is always inconvenient but exceptionally insightful.

Here are a few of my newest and favorite realizations:

• Read receipts don’t scare me.

• The grass is only greener where you water it.

• Autopay is good for my mental health.

• If you worry, you run the risk of suffering twice. 

• Flossing is cool.

• The only thing worse than letting down the people around you, is letting yourself down. 

• Recognize the people who don’t hold the door open for you, and appreciate the ones that do more often*

Credit: Pinterest

*Stop making yourself endlessly available to people who only make themselves available to you only when it is most convenient for them. There are two kinds of friendships (there are more but for the sake of this example, there are two). There are people you meet that, when presented a door, they’ll open it, walk through, and gesture to you to join them. Or leave it cracked, so you can enter when you please. And then there are people you meet that, when presented a door, they’ll open it, walk through, and slam it shut behind them. Never looking back, unless they need something from you (obviously).

Credit: Yiyi, 2000.

The latter will only drain you, and you deserve better than that. I’ve always known this, but what’s new (thanks to my developing brain) is that it is important to remember that just because someone makes a bad friend does not make them a bad person. That does make it harder to loathe them…Being rational is honestly not the most exciting route of all time; I’m also learning this.

Maybe they’re great friends to other people, and not to you. Take note of that and move on accordingly. There’s better out there. And if you’re the kind to worry: You will survive the discomfort of someone being upset with you.

I was always afraid that the sting of someone’s carelessness would dull my kindness. But then I realized my sense of self always stood stronger than anyone’s lack of empathy. I was never that fragile to begin with.

Don’t they always say the only way out is through? So burn the bridge to make a path.

And you’re already halfway there.

Credit: Bruce Davidson, 1980.